This is a Facebook message that "Dana" sent Bethany Carter about a year ago. During this point, Bethany was feeling overwhelmed with the great responsibility given to her to minister to the military teens. God reminded her that He is more than capable of doing great works without her!
"Hey Miss Bethany! I am sorry if I bug you, but I think I just like, uhh, I don't even know.
So, tonight I was reading my Jesus Calling book, and there was this line, it said, 'You need My Spirit to respond appropriately. Ask Him to think through you, live through you, love through you.' It said to ask Him, but tonight I took a beat.
I thought to myself, why would I ask for such a big thing that I didn't even want? But then it hit me like a brick being chucked at my head.
I had wanted that more than anything.
I wanted the Father's love to waterfall out of me wherever and whenever. I wanted even the people treating me like a butt to know that there is love coming to them from the heavenly Father. All the time. And I wanted the to love people all the time, no matter what.
I wanted to radiate love from Him and me, all the time. But I knew that I would need the Heavenly Father for that, so bad. So I just asked, I said,' Heavenly Father, I need you. I need you to think through me, to live through me, and to love through me. Heavenly Father, I want Your and my own love to waterfall from me all the time,' then I got hit again, this time, I realized something even deeper.
I wanted to love like He does. I wanted there to be NO seperation between us. So I told Him that, I told Him I loved him, like I always do when I am ending my prayer, and my heart, it just swelled, and felt weird; like it didn't even belong to me anymore.
It was His now, along with my body and brain and soul. It felt so right that I practically feel asleep right then. But that confused me a little, because usually it takes a while.
What was going on? Why was I feeling this way? Then it hit me again. I felt complete. 100% complete. And right.
Lately Bethany, things have been rough. This, I don't even know how to verbalize it. I'm complete. I have Him.
I am loved and I am full."