“Feeling Small” is a Lie: An Intern’s Perspective

Sitting around the table at Youth For Christ International’s monthly prayer meeting, I felt small.

Not physically, Ginny was there, so there was at least one person shorter than me.

I felt like my perspective was so small compared to the missionary giants at the table with me. Geordan had come from Europe, Ginny just got back from Kenya that morning, and here I am, introducing myself, never having been outside the U.S. (except for one trip to the Ikea in Canada), coming from Washington state, and feeling very, very small.

I not only felt small, I felt ineffective. Like I wasn’t making a difference for Christ, as these well-travelled, well-scriptured executives were somehow doing so much more for the Kingdom than I was, a small-town college student at a Christian university who had been in the Pacific Northwest for my entire life. Certainly these bigwigs were more important to God because they spoke three languages, had been to twelve countries in three days, or had cool Australian accents. Don’t get me wrong, these were great people, but so intimidating!

But that was just the first ten minutes.

Soon after, I was sharing my thoughts (albeit shaking in my boots while I did) and considered a part of the group. The label “intern” wasn’t a demeaning one, as I thought it would have been. I attended several meetings after that, and I was always included in the group. I wasn’t ignored because of my “intern” status, my opinion wasn’t invalid because it was my first day of training. I was part of the discussion. I was an equal.

I realized that I wasn’t well-travelled or well-known or well-spoken (yes, even communications majors trip over their words). And that was okay. I still mattered. My words were still heard.
And just like I was considered important to everyone I encountered during my internship training, I am considered important to God.

I don’t have to go overseas if I’m not called (and I don’t believe I am at the moment), I don’t have to speak five languages (I can barely speak English as it is), and I don’t have to have the entirety of Psalm 119 memorized. I can still make a difference for the Kingdom.

I am just an intern who runs social media pages (which some don’t even see as important anyway), but I know that God is using me, and will continue to use me wherever I am, whether that’s in Washington, at school in Oregon, online, or maybe I’ll be called to Uganda. Who knows?

I serve the Kingdom of God.

I am blessed.

And I am content.


“Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” ~ Matthew 10:29-31


Nathan Messmer is the YFC's Global Engagement/Social Media intern.

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